Valentine’s Day is upon us, and it’s important to remember that Cupid’s holiday isn’t about checking off a list of expected gifts. Instead, it’s about showing love in ways your partner truly feels. That’s where love languages come in. Understanding how your partner receives love can turn Valentine’s Day (and every day) into a meaningful one. So, let’s skip the generic advice and dive into therapist-approved ways to speak your partner’s love language more fluently. Although, for the record, we’re not nixing a gorgeous bouquet, romantic dinner, or a delicious box of chocolates—those are always welcome! But when paired with intentional, meaningful gestures, your expression of love becomes that much more powerful. 

Words of Affirmation: A Language of Love

If your partner thrives on verbal expressions of love, they crave thoughtful, specific affirmations. This Valentine’s Day, go deeper. Tell them what you admire about them, acknowledge their efforts, and express appreciation for the little things they do.

Try This: Instead of a simple card, write a heartfelt letter or record a voice note listing all the reasons they make your life better. Not a poet? No problem. Even a sticky note with a genuine compliment left on the bathroom mirror can set the tone for a wonderful day.

Acts of Service: Love in the Little Things

For those who value acts of service, love isn’t about what you say—it’s about what you do, and thoughtful actions speak volumes. The key is to notice what’s been weighing on them and step in before they even ask.

Try This: Have they been putting off scheduling that dentist appointment? Book it for them. Are they stressing over a cluttered home office? Tidy it up. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture—it just has to show that you see them, hear them, and want to make their load in life a bit lighter.

Receiving Gifts: It’s the Thought That Counts

A partner whose love language is receiving gifts cherishes the thoughtfulness behind a well-chosen present. The key here is personalization—it’s less about the price tag and more about how well the gift reflects their personality, interests, and emotions.

Try This: Instead of run-of-the-mill gifts, really think about what would make their heart light up. A book by their favorite author with a sweet note inside, a playlist of songs that remind you of them, or a framed photo from a special moment together could all do the trick. Whatever it is, the best gifts say, “I know you, I see you, and I put real thought into this.”

Quality Time: The Present of Presence

A quality-time person feels most loved during moments of undivided attention—phones down, distractions off, and a deep connection.

Try This: Instead of a simple dinner date, create a whole experience like watching the sunset beforehand and lingering after dinner to share about dreams and memories. Also, a cozy uninterrupted evening in just the two of you works as well.

Physical Touch: Love in Every Gesture

Physical closeness is key for those who feel most loved through physical touch. These folks take great comfort and reassurance through embraces and spontaneous cuddles.

Try This: Instead of just a quick peck before heading out, give them a warm, lingering hug that says, “I’m here, and I love you.“ Hold their hand while you talk, offer a back rub after a long day, or sit close to them when watching a movie.

A Loving Connection That Lasts Beyond Valentine’s Day

You may have an inkling of what your partner’s love language is, but if you’re stumped, you can both take a love language quiz together. And remember, understanding and speaking your partner’s love language isn’t just about one day—it’s taking steps to do so throughout the year.

If you and your partner want to strengthen your bond, our licensed couples therapists can help. To learn more about how we can support your relationship, contact our Intake Coordinator at 949-236-1990 or intakes@lisaeatontherapy.com. You can also learn more over at our Get Started Page.